Je Ne Te Veux Pas July 10, 2008

brandnew, in French, enjoy!

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Depuis plus de deux vies

Je bâti mon univers seule

Depuis plus de deux règnes

Je me sens veuve

Depuis bien trop longtemps

Je suis orpheline et mendiante

Et maintenant, et maintenant…

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Tu oses t’immiscer dans ma vie

Tu oses quémander

Tu oses vouloir m’étouffer?

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Eh bien, ma mie

Ça ne se passera pas comme ceci

Eh bien, Sarah

Ça ne se passera pas comme cela

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Tu te la joues mignonne

Tu te la joues pauvrette

Tu te la joues sainte

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Mais moi je suis complètement sains crainte

Je suis plus deux demis que toi

Tes manières

Factices et manipulatrices

Tu te les garde

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Et la vérité? Eh bien, voilà:

Même ton honnêté, je n’en veux pas.

The Empress of the Universe and the King of Gaia June 11, 2008

I wrote this late last night, which is probably why it’s completely atonal

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There’s you and me, separately

There’s us and them

But we are both traitors to ourselves

There’s you and me

But I need to be free

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The way to your heart

Is a journey for which I have no map

I’d be flying blind

To an undisclosed location

But I’m done giving without reservation

So you see, there’s you and me

Just separately

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I really wish I could give you all you want

Sometimes I even wish for your magic wand

But there are hills I will not cross

And moors in which I’ll never tread

There are oceans I won’t swim

To get to you

There’s just too many things

I won’t do

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Both of us are moonchildren

Both of us are seventh sons

But my journey takes me to the furthest reaches of Outer Space

And yours just takes you home

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The way to my heart

Is a journey for which you have no map

You got lost before, Ruler of Gaia

Best leave Mars’ Empress to herself

Take the life you still have

And leave battlefields unknown

To mightier warriors

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Glamazons and Dark Avengers

Will find what you came looking for

I’ve set my cosmic sails for them

And left your peaceful harbour

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I wish you well, Ruler of Gaia

I will visit when I can

But I’ll never be your Mistress, Lord

So don’t endanger your quiet land.

a song: Inveniam Viam Aut Faciam May 16, 2008

this is brandnew, a little longish for a song, but I don’t care

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Do you remember how you used to

Scoop me up into your arms

Swirl me round and round and round again

And it seemed to me like your feet too

Had left the solid ground?

I hope you do remember, ’cause

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Chorus

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I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

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I wonder if it’s hard for you

To watch me make all these mistakes

To see me fall again and again

Without being able to help?

I swear I never wanted anything

But make you proud

I hope you know this in your heart

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Chorus

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I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

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Bridge

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All this is really just to say

It may not look like it to you

But I know I’ll find a way

And if I don’t, well, daddy, then I still have you

And if I don’t, well, daddy, then I’ll make one

‘Cause with you in my heart and soul

I know I can do anything

Anything at all

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Chorus

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I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

It’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

What Dreams Are Made Of May 8, 2008

another brandnew poem, enjoy

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I wonder, what your dreams are made of

I wonder where you go

If there’s a sunny beach and hot, moist air

If it’s a city, a jungle or if you don’t even care

As long as you are free

I wonder if you dream of the same things as me

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I’ll tell you what my dreams are made of

I’ll tell you stories untold

We’re lying in a tent of childhood dreams together

And as you touch my hand

Our dreams unfold

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Into a dazzling, glistening waterfall

Into a jungle wet with rain

Into a rainy, darkened alley

Where we go down shot

Howling with pain

As as your body presses down upon mine

Your breath becoming shallow with escaping life

You look into my eyes and smile

“Tell me what you’re dreaming of, Mylady”

I hear you whisper as the Reaper’s embrace tightens

“I dream of you, Mylord, of you alone

For you are everything my dreams were ever made of”

Sakura April 27, 2008

for S.M. (new poem)

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Like a dark sorceress

With a sweet spot for murder

The cherry tree blooms

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Like black ink stains

On a lover’s letters

The cherry trees bloom

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Their sister, the childlike empress

Beckons me on

Hiding in the light

Whispering in the wind

The magnolia blossoms give softness

And take with foul sweetness

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Enticed, my hands reach for the cherry blossom

He loved me, he loved me not

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“He loved you”, the blossom says

But the childlike empress laughs her deathly laugh

And I laugh with her

He loved me, you say?

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He loved you, as sure as the night is black

As sure as the sun rises crimson in the east

He loved me?

As sure as space is cold

As sure as the sun sets crimson in the west?

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Then tell me, friend

Why each spring I face a sorceress with a deathwish

A stained love letter

A dead infant at your feet?

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The cherry blossom falls to the ground silently

Because I feast on your magic

I thrive on your broken heart

Because the infant at my feet

Is your own child

On whose lifeblood I survive

Because your love for him is endless

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Just ask my powdery sister

She will tell you

Seasons come and go

We die and are reborn forever

Yet your wound, your scar, your heart, my lovely

Will fully heal

Never

Climbing Mount Megiddo April 24, 2008

brandnew, enjoy!

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Now that the world is ending

I’m happy, it’s ending with you

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Now that the mighty have fallen

It’s just you and me

Stumbling, crawling, clawing

Through the débris

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Now that the cities are ruins

It’s just us and them

Hunting, stealing, fighting

Just us against them

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Now that the temples have sunken

Deep into the seas

And the land is barren

Rocks replacing the trees

It’s just animals and monsters

Daemons and angels

Fighting earth’s last battle

Against the Darkness and its Master

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Now that the world is ending

It’s just you and me

As they say in the stories

For all eternity

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Now that the world is ending

Can you see it, how we lived?

Only once, but with hope

Only once, but with love

Only once

But now that the world is ending

I’m happy it’s ending with you

Soaked Soul April 20, 2008

this used to be a song, but the chorus turned out way too long, so I converted it into a poem - from the archives, enjoy!

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Sitting in my darkened temple

The couple up there on the silver screen

Is falling in love, head over heels

And I’m just a nameless worshipper with a crazy dream

That you could be here with me

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It’s pouring outside

But it’s my soul that’s getting soaked

There’s love all around

But that’s my heart that just broke

And I’m really, really wishing you were here

To tell me, tell me

I’m just having a bad dream

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Leaving my emptied temple

To walk unforgiving streets

Is never as easy as it seems

And sometimes it has me wondering

Whether this song is all I know to sing

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I want to be up there on the silver screen

I want to be out there

Want to be seen

But if I only had one wish

I would wish for you to hear me sing

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Because it’s pouring outside

But it’s my soul that’s getting soaked

There’s love all around

But that’s my heart that you just broke

Contigo No Siento Frío April 12, 2008

from the archives, written IX.2005

Contigo no siento frío

Your presence soothes me

Sín ti siempre me siento un poco perdida

Your presence soothes me

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Mirar tus manos

Perderme en tu mirada de hielo metálico

Oír tu voz

Escuchar tus palabras

Baña de calma mi locura

Your presence soothes me

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Por ti me siento un poco más bella

Como una flor que solo tú puedes tocar

Solamente me dejaré arancar por tus manos ireales

Has tocado algo en mi

Que antes no supe existía

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Paciencia y enfermera

Amante y madre

Your presence soothes me

You bring out the best in me

You make me

Question me

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Me haces más sensible

But at the moment, the one I care about most

Eres tú

Completamente, unicamente, solamente tú

Por lo bueno que representas

Por tu bondad

Sín límites

Porque cuidando de ti

Cuido de mi

Porque cuidando de ti

Cuido de mi

Contigo no siento frío

Love Said No April 3, 2008

I thought I was open

I thought I was free

I thought your embrace was strength

I believed your monologues’ length

I believed you when you said “come with me”

And I believed them, when they said “love will set you free”

But as I moved my pieces into position

Love said no

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Love said no to my plans

Picking you to ride with instead

Love said no

To my unborn child

Picking her to have it instead

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So I told love “I forgive you”

I told love “I’m moving on”

But love said no

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Love said no, you’re not going anywhere

Love said no, it’s not for you I made fresh air

Love said no, to all my plans

But to you love said “shall we dance?”

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And dancing out of my life

You took the songs out of my heart

But very, very secretly

I stole them back

Paris, je t’aime March 31, 2008

Late one night, I was lying in your arms

My fingers, on your skin, silently traced “I love you”

Late that night, lying in your arms

I packed my bags

I packed and packed and packed for days

And one night, by the bridge, I picked them up

I picked them up, without a sound

I picked them up, without a word

And disappeared into the night

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I ran and ran for days on end

Until I reached your door

I knocked and knocked and knocked some more

Until you opened up your door

And there I stood, a refugee

A woman who had vanished in the dark

I dropped my bags, down by my side

I stepped into the light

I kissed your cold, dead cheek

I kissed your icy lips

Took back the keys to my life

Followed my bliss

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Paris, je t’aime