I Pray July 16, 2009

I pray

I pray for better days

I pray for days devoid of lies

I pray for peace of mind

.

I pray for my lost serenity

I pray for my tortured innocence

I pray for a life of love

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I dare not hope beyond tomorrow

I dare not hope for clear blue skies

But I pray for a future, one day devoid of lies

I pray for the rain, which will wash all my sins away

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I pray for diamond skin

I pray for the shapeshifter deep within

I pray for that rogue power

The wisdom to use it

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I pray not for love to receive

But for love to give

I pray for less hate

More acceptance

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I pray for my lost religion

And to that inner goddess guiding me

I pray for starlight in the darkest night

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The night is always blackest before dawn

Or so they say

I pray they might be right this time

I pray, I pray, I pray.

Post-Apocalypse July 4, 2009

It was the day after the Apocalypse

When Eden had come to an empty stillstand

She wandered simply, softly

Through the healing land

.

It was the day after the End of Time

When Paradise was revealed cleansed

He wandered swiftly, strongly

Towards her outstretched hand

.

She was dewy and calm

Glistening with innocence

Her voice, heavenly balm

Her emerald eyes framed

by the fire of a thousand suns

Her milky skin so pure

He drank from it

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It was the first time he saw her thus

It was also the last

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For from the peaceful revenge of Mother Earth

A Warrior was born

Whose heart turned to stone

The second day after the Apocalypse had won

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This Warrior scoured the Earth

Saving the huddled masses

Loving all with the fervour of the One

Who loves none at all

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This Warrior Woman learned every art

available to man and beast

Her Warrior Man always by her side

Two against the world, she whispered in his ear at night

Two against the world outside

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But after all those years inside

All he wanted to do, was make it out alive

.

For she whom he had fallen for

Existed no more

For she, his cherry blossom

Had become a Juggernaut

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The Warrior Woman with the emerald eyes died all alone

The Juggernaut with flaming hair died all alone

And when her soul rejoined the stars

No one looked up, the World kept turning

.

For after all, who loves a loveless soul

Who loves a tainted soul

Who loves a soul that’s burning?

We made love last night… October 9, 2008

We made love last night

Innocently, in snow white sheets

And when we left to travel the world together

I suddenly felt weak in the knees

.

I faked the fainting spell

To cast a spell over you

I was awake the whole time

And then wondered why we were through

.

I’m tired of running in circles

Of never quite getting it right

I’m tired of being all wrong

For you and for all

Of awakening such fright

.

If giving up my Fremen blood

Meant being loved by you

I’d slash my wrists myself, my love

Then offer my neck to you

.

But the trouble is, my love

You’re scared of me, either way

Whether I’m dove or demon

Breeze or storm

You can’t tolerate me in my pure form

.

So I continue existing

As a vial of Water around a barbaric deity’s neck

Until such a time as I’m poured down your throat

My one true love, my Kwisatz Haderach

.

And when that day comes, my love

We will both look within crying

“Father! The Sleeper has awaken!”

.

We made love last night

In a non-prescient dream

We made love on oniric simulflow

Where it’s worth only heartache and then nothing at all

.

This is me reaching up for you

Reaching into the Coriolis storm

Because I’m becoming Kralizec, my Strong One

And only a Fremen can save this Fremen woman

From becoming less than nothing at all

We Will Find Each Other September 22, 2008

I believe that you are out there

Negotiating the world

Just like me

I believe I can’t be alone, out there

Living with such difficulty

Wanting to be me

.

With every step I take

I feel the soul of the world moving

For every step I take

You take one too

And every time I say

“We’ll never meet one another”

I can hear you whisper

“We will find each other”

.

This seems like such a long journey

I never agreed to take

Life without love

I believe you’ve been on the road

For quite a while too

Abandoned in this crowd

.

With every step I take

I feel the soul of the world moving

For every step I take

You take one too

And every time I say

“We’ll never meet one another”

I can hear you whisper

“We will find each other”

.

I often wonder if knowing you must exist is enough

For all this deep twilight swallowing me

Can be hard to cross

There’s a chance we’ll never meet

In this fog of life

There’s a chance we’ll brush past each other in a street

And walk on by

I’m so scared I’ll die without you

I’m so scared to go without your love

I know time will not be enough

.

With every step I take

I feel the soul of the world moving

For every step I take

You take one too

And every time I say

“We will never meet one another”

I can hear you whisper

“We will find each other”

.

And so I soldier on

Hoping against hope

That one day we might know each other

And whisper

“We will find each other”

Je Ne Te Veux Pas July 10, 2008

brandnew, in French, enjoy!

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Depuis plus de deux vies

Je bâti mon univers seule

Depuis plus de deux règnes

Je me sens veuve

Depuis bien trop longtemps

Je suis orpheline et mendiante

Et maintenant, et maintenant…

.

Tu oses t’immiscer dans ma vie

Tu oses quémander

Tu oses vouloir m’étouffer?

.

Eh bien, ma mie

Ça ne se passera pas comme ceci

Eh bien, Sarah

Ça ne se passera pas comme cela

.

Tu te la joues mignonne

Tu te la joues pauvrette

Tu te la joues sainte

.

Mais moi je suis complètement sains crainte

Je suis plus deux demis que toi

Tes manières

Factices et manipulatrices

Tu te les garde

.

Et la vérité? Eh bien, voilà:

Même ton honnêté, je n’en veux pas.

The Empress of the Universe and the King of Gaia June 11, 2008

I wrote this late last night, which is probably why it’s completely atonal

.

There’s you and me, separately

There’s us and them

But we are both traitors to ourselves

There’s you and me

But I need to be free

.

The way to your heart

Is a journey for which I have no map

I’d be flying blind

To an undisclosed location

But I’m done giving without reservation

So you see, there’s you and me

Just separately

.

I really wish I could give you all you want

Sometimes I even wish for your magic wand

But there are hills I will not cross

And moors in which I’ll never tread

There are oceans I won’t swim

To get to you

There’s just too many things

I won’t do

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Both of us are moonchildren

Both of us are seventh sons

But my journey takes me to the furthest reaches of Outer Space

And yours just takes you home

.

The way to my heart

Is a journey for which you have no map

You got lost before, Ruler of Gaia

Best leave Mars’ Empress to herself

Take the life you still have

And leave battlefields unknown

To mightier warriors

.

Glamazons and Dark Avengers

Will find what you came looking for

I’ve set my cosmic sails for them

And left your peaceful harbour

.

I wish you well, Ruler of Gaia

I will visit when I can

But I’ll never be your Mistress, Lord

So don’t endanger your quiet land.

a song: Inveniam Viam Aut Faciam May 16, 2008

this is brandnew, a little longish for a song, but I don’t care

.

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Do you remember how you used to

Scoop me up into your arms

Swirl me round and round and round again

And it seemed to me like your feet too

Had left the solid ground?

I hope you do remember, ’cause

.

Chorus

.

I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

.

.

I wonder if it’s hard for you

To watch me make all these mistakes

To see me fall again and again

Without being able to help?

I swear I never wanted anything

But make you proud

I hope you know this in your heart

.

Chorus

.

I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

.

Bridge

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All this is really just to say

It may not look like it to you

But I know I’ll find a way

And if I don’t, well, daddy, then I still have you

And if I don’t, well, daddy, then I’ll make one

‘Cause with you in my heart and soul

I know I can do anything

Anything at all

.

Chorus

.

I want you to know

I’ll remember you forever

No matter where I go

‘Cause after all is said and done

I’m still your little girl

I may have grown into a woman

But it’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

It’s you who helped me be what I’ve become

What Dreams Are Made Of May 8, 2008

another brandnew poem, enjoy

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I wonder, what your dreams are made of

I wonder where you go

If there’s a sunny beach and hot, moist air

If it’s a city, a jungle or if you don’t even care

As long as you are free

I wonder if you dream of the same things as me

.

I’ll tell you what my dreams are made of

I’ll tell you stories untold

We’re lying in a tent of childhood dreams together

And as you touch my hand

Our dreams unfold

.

Into a dazzling, glistening waterfall

Into a jungle wet with rain

Into a rainy, darkened alley

Where we go down shot

Howling with pain

As as your body presses down upon mine

Your breath becoming shallow with escaping life

You look into my eyes and smile

“Tell me what you’re dreaming of, Mylady”

I hear you whisper as the Reaper’s embrace tightens

“I dream of you, Mylord, of you alone

For you are everything my dreams were ever made of”

Sakura April 27, 2008

for S.M. (new poem)

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Like a dark sorceress

With a sweet spot for murder

The cherry tree blooms

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Like black ink stains

On a lover’s letters

The cherry trees bloom

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Their sister, the childlike empress

Beckons me on

Hiding in the light

Whispering in the wind

The magnolia blossoms give softness

And take with foul sweetness

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Enticed, my hands reach for the cherry blossom

He loved me, he loved me not

.

“He loved you”, the blossom says

But the childlike empress laughs her deathly laugh

And I laugh with her

He loved me, you say?

.

He loved you, as sure as the night is black

As sure as the sun rises crimson in the east

He loved me?

As sure as space is cold

As sure as the sun sets crimson in the west?

.

Then tell me, friend

Why each spring I face a sorceress with a deathwish

A stained love letter

A dead infant at your feet?

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The cherry blossom falls to the ground silently

Because I feast on your magic

I thrive on your broken heart

Because the infant at my feet

Is your own child

On whose lifeblood I survive

Because your love for him is endless

.

Just ask my powdery sister

She will tell you

Seasons come and go

We die and are reborn forever

Yet your wound, your scar, your heart, my lovely

Will fully heal

Never

Climbing Mount Megiddo April 24, 2008

brandnew, enjoy!

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Now that the world is ending

I’m happy, it’s ending with you

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Now that the mighty have fallen

It’s just you and me

Stumbling, crawling, clawing

Through the débris

.

Now that the cities are ruins

It’s just us and them

Hunting, stealing, fighting

Just us against them

.

Now that the temples have sunken

Deep into the seas

And the land is barren

Rocks replacing the trees

It’s just animals and monsters

Daemons and angels

Fighting earth’s last battle

Against the Darkness and its Master

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Now that the world is ending

It’s just you and me

As they say in the stories

For all eternity

.

Now that the world is ending

Can you see it, how we lived?

Only once, but with hope

Only once, but with love

Only once

But now that the world is ending

I’m happy it’s ending with you